


There's A Little Darkness in All of Us

by littlewonder



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Beauty and the Beast Elements, Dark, Disney References, Fluff and Angst, Imagination, M/M, Magic Mirrors, Post-Episode: Selfishness v. Selflessness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: Prinxiety, Intrulogical, Moceit… Calling the sides ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’ is a misnomer. The so-called ‘Dark Sides’ will prove that.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	There's A Little Darkness in All of Us

Roman liked to think he was heroic. Virgil had known his brother, of course, and in many ways the two brothers were opposites. But Roman, perhaps unsurprisingly given the division of the brothers in Thomas’s mind, saw the world in black and white, with himself as the hero and his brother as the villain. But it wasn’t as simple as that; he and his brother, despite their differences, were also similar in many ways. Deceit was even able to use the same manipulation tactics on both of the brothers: stroking their egos and granting them power. 

Roman may not see it, but he was just as capable of darkness as Remus was; he was just too busy living his hero fantasy to see it. And that wilful ignorance made him vulnerable to Deceit’s manipulations.

As Thomas’s anxiety, Virgil knew he had power over Roman, too. He could scare him, and what was more scary to Roman than the idea that he and his brother weren’t so different, after all? If Roman could let go of the idea that he was good and pure, it might actually inspire him to really become better, rather than assume he naturally already was. Perhaps then, he would see more than his ego; he would see the way Deceit kept manipulating him, and he could avoid playing into Deceit’s hands.

But unsurprisingly, Virgil had doubts about whether he _should_ interfere. Could he scare Roman into becoming a better person, or would he just scare him away and make things worse? He couldn’t stand the idea of giving Deceit more power. But Virgil could stand the idea of Roman hating him even less.

Besides which, the thought of both sides of Thomas’s creativity joining Deceit wouldn’t just be bad for Virgil, it’d be bad for Thomas.

He knew he had to do _something_ , but how? He was scared to even bring it up, let alone use his power to drive the point home.

Before he’d even made the decision to visit Roman, he found himself drawn into his room. It was the middle of the night, and Roman was lying in bed, but Virgil could tell he wasn’t asleep; he was lying with his arm draped over his eyes, his body twisted into a dramatic pose. It was typical Roman theatrics.

Despite how extra Roman was being, Virgil could see right through him to the insecurity inside. After all, Virgil wouldn’t be here, and Roman wouldn’t be acting like this, if Roman didn’t feel insecure about something right now.

“Okay, what is it?” said Virgil.

Roman startled, removing his arm to find Virgil in his room.

“Virgil!” cried Roman, leaping to his feet with a blush. 

“W-what are you doing here?”

_Yeah. Some hero._

“Hey, Princey,” said Virgil. “What’s up?” 

“That’s not an answer.”

Briefly, Virgil looked around at the Disney posters that lined every inch of his walls. 

_Well, when in Rome…_

“We need to talk.” 

“A-about what?” asked Roman.

His eyes were soft, gentle. Virgil could only imagine how hard they would turn if Deceit ever won him over, and convinced him to abandon Virgil. He could picture it so clearly: could see Roman glaring into him before turning into Deceit’s arms…

_That's it. I have to do this._

The idea of Roman hating him was a familiar one, and it scared him now more than ever, now that he knew it wasn’t inevitable. But even if he totally screwed things up, he had to at least try to fix things.

“About your brother,” answered Virgil.

Roman looked confused. “What about him?” 

“Come on, Princey. It’s time to grow up,” said Virgil. “You are not some shining hero here to vanquish the villain. I think you know that, on some level, or I wouldn’t be here.” 

“No. No,” argued Roman. “I am a hero. And since when was there anything wrong with having dreams? Since when did growing up mean abandoning childish things? It’s those things that bring joy into our lives!” 

“Spoken like a true man-child. One day, you’re gonna have to grow up and realise that you’re not as good and pure as you try to be. But the truth is, no one is. You call yourself good, but you have consistently prioritised your own ego and desires over what’s right. You call yourself pure, but you constantly treat everyone around you with the contempt of, in your words, a dark side.” 

Roman gasped dramatically. “How dare you!” 

“Look, all I’m saying is, you have a mean streak. And that isn’t a coincidence. It comes from Remus. And that’s a problem.” 

“I don’t have a problem! I am not my brother!” insisted Roman.

“Never said you were,” said Virgil. “But you are dangerously similar to him. Where you place your loyalty, affects all of us. What you do, matters. And I cannot protect Thomas the way I need to if you continue to endanger him.” 

“What am _I_ doing to endanger him?” cried Roman.

“You’re acting no better than your brother when it comes to Deceit. Every time he shows up, you allow him to have his way. He charms you, he plays to your desire to get what you want, and you completely indulge him. It’s like you don’t even see what he is. It’s like you _like_ him, or something."

Roman spluttered. “I do not!” 

“Then prove it.” 

Thunder rumbled as Virgil summoned black clouds to engulf the room. When they parted, suppressed lightning lit up the room just enough to illuminate Roman and Virgil, who stood isolated in the centre of the black storm that the room had become.

Only now, Roman now wasn’t wearing his prince costume: it had been replaced with Aladdin’s street rat costume.

Roman threw his hands up, looking down at himself. “What have you done?” he demanded. “You made me dirty!” 

“Oh, you’ve always been dirty, you just won’t admit it,” retorted Virgil, with a mean smirk.

Looking down at his now-exposed chest, Roman smirked back up at Virgil.

Virgil blushed. “What? No. No, not like that.” 

“Sure,” said Roman, winking.

“The point is, like Aladdin, you used deceit to become the prince you had pretended to be from the start ―”

“I am Creativity! Pretending is what I do!” cried Roman defensively.

“But there should be a line between your harmless escapist fantasies and the lies that actually hurt Thomas, which is exactly the kind of lies Deceit specialises in! As soon as you cross that line, you endanger Thomas!” 

“So I’ve screwed up a few times, so what? I am not Deceit!” 

“Maybe not, but you don’t seem to put up much resistance to him. No one else seems as eager as you to believe his lies. You love how beautiful and connected his lies make you feel, don’t you? But the ugly truth is, he doesn’t believe any of it. He’s lying when he flatters you, or when he says he loves you. And you keep falling for his lies. You are the weak point, you’re his target practice.” 

“Why does it have to be beautiful lies and ugly truths?” asked Roman. “Can’t it be, ugly lies and beautiful truths?” 

“It doesn’t work that way. That’s just another beautiful lie.” 

“Well, why shouldn’t I choose to believe in beautiful lies, then?” 

“Because your greatest goal is to be good. And if you listen to Deceit, you won’t be. You’ll walk down a dangerous path if you continue on this way. Protecting Thomas from him needs to be the priority.

“At least Remus recognises his darkness. But just like Aladdin fooled everyone else into thinking he was a prince, you have been hiding away your imperfections, your insecurities, your pain, and you’ve been using Deceit to do it. You hide it from us, and even yourself. And trust me, I get the temptation, I know how scary it can be. But you need to stop before you hurt us all.” 

“Hypocrite much?” said Roman. “Who would know better about hiding away from the world but you? You are literally the embodiment of Thomas’s _anxiety_.”

“Yeah, you know what? I am. And even I am telling you that you have to own up to yourself and start being honest. I know, more than anyone, how hard it can be. But I have learned that, as hard as it is, if you don’t, you will only hurt Thomas even more. So, you’ve got to try. At least try.”

“I _am_ trying,” said Roman. “What do you think I’m doing?”

“From what I can see, you’re not trying at all. It’s like you give up without a fight. You have to face him sometime. You can’t live in denial forever.” 

Roman gasped, leaning back and clutching his chest. “How dare you!” cried Roman. “Why don’t you face the truth? You’re just jealous, that I’m braver, and handsomer, and stronger than you. So you transformed me into this ugly, smelly… poor man’s costume.”

“Okay, why don’t we test that?” 

Virgil clicked his fingers, and a column of black cloud from the wall blasted across the centre of the room, leaving behind it a tall, ornate, full-length mirror. Roman took an uneasy step towards it.

When he peered into the glass, he saw himself, as he usually was: a handsome prince. But when he looked down at himself, he was still in Aladdin’s street rat clothes.

“Ha―!” he began, but when he looked up again, he saw the image in the mirror transform… into Remus, who was sneering at him.

"This… this can’t be real…” said Roman, as he stared, transfixed, at the vision. “What is this mirror, a reverse Mirror of Erised?"

“It’s the Mirror of Rorret,” said Virgil. “It shows your greatest fears. In this case, it’s you becoming no different to your brother. Predictable, based on what I’ve seen of you so far…”

“Predictable?” cried Roman. “Wh-what exactly about this is predictable?” 

“I have known your brother longer than I’ve known you; don’t think I don’t know what it means when you told both him and me how much you disliked us, or when you’d let slip your mean nicknames, or when thoughts from Remus slipped out of your mouth. You’ve been fighting him your whole life, but you still can’t keep him at bay. You didn’t want to be like him, so you thought up this prince persona, as escapism. And he retaliated by creating the Duke. But that’s not who either of you are…” 

“We are Creativity; of course it is.” 

“You _are_ Creativity; of course, what that really means is that you have the power to become anything. But don’t think that changes who you are at your core, nor your motivations for wanting to rise above it.” 

“I _have_ risen above it! I have become the prince! I’m not some beast!” 

“Oh, aren’t you?” 

Once again, the darkness swept over Roman, and when it receded, his appearance had changed once again. Now, he was the Beast from _Beauty and the Beast_.

Roman raised his arms as he looked down at himself. “Really?” he said. “The Beast? He’s so ugly, and hairy, and smelly… This cannot be the way you see me. I’m better than this!” 

“Another transformed prince,” said Virgil. “When you first knew me, you were just as mean as the Beast was. I know how you take such pride in your appearance, but to me, you were no better than this.” 

“I’ve proved myself since then, haven’t I? Come on, make me beautiful again.” 

“Not until you’ve learned your lesson,” said Virgil.

“What lesson? Why are you doing this to me?” 

“You have to learn that there is more to life than just looking good and judging other people!” 

“Is this about you feeling ignored by me?” 

“Ignored and belittled,” said Virgil. “In part ―”

“Oh, you just want me to romance you! Like the Beast romanced Belle! Well, that I can do.” 

“No, wait―”

Before Virgil could protest, Roman transported them into his castle in his mind palace. They stood alone in a wide, empty ballroom, and a melody that seemed to emanate from the objects around them, began to play.  
Roman held out his hand. 

“No, wait, what are you doing?” 

With a giant paw, he gently held Virgil’s hand. Then he pulled him in for a dance.

Virgil blushed at the firm grip, and the close contact. A part of Virgil wanted to resist; this was not what he was here for. But a larger part of him took over Virgil’s body, and allowed Roman to lead him in a dance.  
Gradually, Roman began to add his voice to the music that was surrounding them.

_Certain as the sun  
Rising in the east  
Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast_

_Tale as old as time_  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast 

As Roman took Virgil and spun him around the dance floor, a part of Virgil softened. It was a part of him that wanted to give in, and wanted to give Roman his old body back.

But another part of him knew he couldn’t yet. He still didn’t believe that Roman understood the lesson yet, so he still couldn’t risk turning him back.

Instead, Virgil spread his darkness across the entire ballroom, dulling the golden shine into a shadowy ruin, covered in cobwebs.

“What the hell!” cried Roman, throwing himself back from Virgil. “What now?” 

“Did you think you could win me over so easily,” said Virgil, regaining his edge, “that I would just fall into your arms? No, I cannot be fooled by this kind of glamour. That may work on you, but it won’t work on me.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” said Roman. 

“I won’t fall for your manipulations. I won’t be twisted into letting go of what I know to be true. You are bad for us. But, unlike Deceit and Remus, there is hope for you. So I’m not giving up on you.” 

Roman looked affectionately at Virgil. “You like me,” he said. 

Virgil stood resolute, but could not help a hot blush creeping through.

“I know I’m a hard man to love,” he said. “Maybe even impossible. But this isn’t about us. I can’t let you follow Deceit. And I would do anything to stop that from happening.” 

“I would never join Deceit.” 

“I beg to differ.” 

“Then beg.” 

Virgil glared at him. 

Roman sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. But… I can’t believe you really think I would do that. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Are you saying you don’t hate me?” asked Virgil.

“Of course I don’t. But I’m starting to think you hate me. Turning me into such horrible characters…” 

“I never said you were a bad person.” 

“You didn’t?” said Roman.

“No. I still love you. The reason I turned you into all these different characters is because I know there’s also darkness in you that you weren’t dealing with, and it was hurting you, and the rest of us. I just think you need to own up to your demons once in a while.” 

A smile tugged on Roman’s lips. “You what?” he asked. As realisation dawned on Virgil, horror reflected on his face. "I… care for you.” 

“That’s not what you said before,” said Roman, smiling wider. “Maybe I should face my demons more. And maybe you should face your… desires more.” 

Virgil blushed furiously. “Shut up,” he said.

“Sometimes, it’s hard for me, to have you around, because… I fear all you’ll do is tear me down. Deceit doesn’t do that. But that doesn’t mean I like him better than you. I know exactly how bad he is, but I just… need to pretend sometimes, to preserve my ego. Needing to hear his compliments, even if I know they aren’t true, isn’t the same as liking someone. 

“Well. Cool,” said Virgil. “It’s not like it’s a big deal, anyway.” 

“It is, it’s a very big deal! You know, it’s okay if you want to give me genuine compliments sometimes. I'd love to hear it.” 

“Please don’t say that, it just makes it worse. Please, just… I have to do this.” 

Virgil clicked his fingers, and the Mirror of Rorret returned. 

“Oh, not this again!” cried Roman. “You already showed me turning into Remus, you can’t hurt me anymore with that thing.” 

“Actually,” said Virgil, “I thought I’d show you what I see.” 

Virgil put his hand on Roman’s shoulder, and returned him to his original form. The physical contact also allowed Virgil to pass his sight to Roman, who began to grow bags under his eyes to match Virgil's. Then, Virgil guided him to face his terror in the mirror. 

In the mirror, he watched this anxious persona transform into the Evil Queen from Snow White.

“Ooh, I’m so regal!” he said, admiring himself in the mirror. “And beautiful!” 

Then, an old woman walked into frame, holding an apple. It was the Queen’s unassuming alter ego. “And I don’t become that frail, ugly witch? Score!” 

The old woman handed the Queen the Apple, and the Queen ate it. Then, before his eyes, Roman watched the regal, beautiful queen wither into a living corpse, and the old woman transform into Deceit.

Roman gasped. “Deceit!” 

Virgil’s hand slipped off Roman’s shoulder, and the image reverted back to Roman’s fear. Roman’s eyes faded back to normal, and he turned away from the mirror to face Virgil again.

“Is this what you see whenever you look into this mirror?” Roman asked.

“A variation of it,” said Virgil. “Your vision was more based on imagery personal to you. But, that vision you saw in the mirror, that’s what happens when you trust Deceit. He destroys you, every time. He’s done it to me before, and not just in this mirror. Life in the closet was hell for me, and it was him that kept us in there. 

Leaving it was scary, but oddly freeing. And it made me hate him for keeping us in there, ever since.” 

“Can you see everyone’s fears in there?” asked Roman.

“As Thomas’s anxiety, yes, I have the unique ability of seeing every side’s worst fears, as well as Thomas’s as a whole. I have spent a long time staring into it, at mine and everyone else’s fears. I know them like the track list on a My Chemical Romance album. What can I say? It’s an addiction.” 

“That can’t be healthy,” said Roman.

“I know. It’s not. But I can’t help myself. Just, please, take this as a warning. Don’t trust Deceit.” 

Roman looked sincerely at Virgil. “But this is just a fear. It doesn’t reflect on reality.” 

"Ignoring it would mean going back on things we’ve known for years. It means undoing every lesson we’ve ever learned. Could you do that?” 

Roman sighed. “No. I suppose I couldn’t.” 

Virgil returned them to Roman’s room, clearing out the dark clouds and the Mirror of Rorret. 

“Thank goodness.” 

“Sorry to scare you, Roman. I just… was afraid I had to. It was the only way to save you.” 

Roman smiled.

Roman looked at Virgil, sympathetically. “I can at least understand that. Now, if you wouldn’t mind going now… I think I need some time alone to recover.” 

“Sure thing, Roman.” 

Virgil sank out, leaving Roman alone to breathe again.


End file.
